Forgiving Others

 

 All of us at some point in our life have been profoundly hurt by someone. Our deepest wounds always seem to be caused by the people we love the most. Family, friends, and yes….even brothers and sisters in Christ. Its a struggle to forgive our transgressors, especially when our eyes are fixed on them and the harm they’ve done to us. I believe the key to forgiving others lies in directing your gaze towards God. Our broken hearts spew out nothing but bitterness and malice, unaware of the sweetness found in the spring of grace. Why? Because the wells of grace have dried up in our hearts. We are not determined to be Christ to people. It is too comfortable being sinful man who settles accounts with others based on his faulty understanding of justice. Why do the wells of grace in our hearts dry up so quickly? Because the recollection of our own offense towards God have been forgotten. The awesome grace of God has turned stale and is no longer that amazing to us.  If only our thoughts dwelled on the cross at all times. Understanding God’s grace is crucial to forgiving others. Grace is not getting justice but getting exactly what you don’t deserve. Jesus once told a parable about an unforgiving servant. It happens to be one of my favorite parables……

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”   (Matthew 18:23-35)

Our sin is the “debt” that we owe to Christ who is “king”. The price needed to be payed is too much for us to bare. The only way we can escape certain calamity is if the King graciously cancels our dept. And that is exactly what Christ did for us on the cross. Forgiving others does not save you, as if you earned God’s forgiveness. But forgiving others shows that you were genuinely transformed by what Christ did for you.

Another thing that we must understand in order to forgive others is God’s providence. The truth that God is orchestrating every single event according to his will and for the good of those who love him.  When people betray us it really messes us up. We expected things to work out a certain way and the reality stings us. One second you can have someone so close to you and before you know it….everything  is reversed and terribly warped. That is exactly what happened to Joseph the son of Jacob. Out of jealously and animosity Joseph’s brothers attempted to kill him. First, they were just going to straight up kill him. Next, they decided to leave him in a ditch. But lastly, they decided to sell him as a slave into Egypt. Joseph ended up becoming a great leader in Egypt. When a great famine occurred he created a plan that would save people’s lives. This famine ravaged the land of Joseph’s brothers and they were desperately seeking relief. Guess where they went to seek relief?……Egypt! They actually came across Joseph and didn’t recognize him. Joseph watched his brothers witholding his idenity until he couldn’t contain himself any longer…..

Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, “Make everyone go out from me.” So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God.  (Genesis 50:1-8a)

When people leave us and betray us we’re always left in a state of flux. Everything seems to be going wrong and nothing good seems to be developing. This illusion is so seducing until we realize that God allowed it to happen. Until we realize tha God is “behind-the-scenes” working on a masterpiece. We as clay tend to forget that it is good for our potter to bend us and brake us sometimes. Joseph was a very godly man, and his character shows. His words indicate a profound understanding of God’s providence.

I write this in a time when so many churches are choosing group hugs over doctrine. Places in which ”practical” things are elevated and theology is considered irrelevant. I see a terrible flaw in this mentality. The mentality of “lets just be love and lets just forgive” that is elusive to sound doctrine and truth. I understand that they are just trying to live the christian life in practical ways but they neglect the fact that truth (specifically Christ and his word) is the engine that drives our love and forgiveness towards others. “Lets just Love” and “Just be like Jesus” (people who see Jesus just as a moral example) are frail and weak mentalities that will always burn out.

Lastly, i want to say that i am thinking about anyone who may read this. My prayer and my heart’s desire is that this will edify you and help you with forgiving others. I actually need this more than anyone else. Please pray for me. May God grant us the ability to contemplate his grace and privdence in our lives as we strive to be Christ to others.

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